Untouched
by lmbrtvll
Summary: I am head over heels in love with Edward Cullen, and in our abnormal, crazy, amazing relationship I can't help but feel untouched. Oneshot, songfic.


Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Lyrics belong to the veronicas.

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Untouched

I, Isabella Marie Swan, am head over heels in love with Edward Cullen. We've been together for a while now and things are great, really really great. I almost can't believe how great things are. Edward calls me his singer; my blood sings to him. The chance of being that one person who is a natural temptress unequal to any other, and then to be found by that one special vampire is incredibly rare. But then again, I am _Bella Swan_, things aren't exactly normal in my life…ever.

And though I may be a constant temptation for Edward, that isn't to say he isn't a temptation for me. I constantly crave to be held in his cold embrace, to feel his marble arms around me, to lay my head against his silent chest. Luckily almost every waking moment that we're not at school, he's not hunting and I'm not with Charlie I'm with Edward, safe in his arms.

_I can't lie_

_I wanna get what I want_

_Don't stop_

_Give me what you've got_

There's nothing I dream about more then his smooth lips, the coolness soothing the burning of my own. Of course he's a gentlemen so the kisses are innocent, yet they still convey such a deep feeling of want. There are some times when I can feel the emotions surfacing, his lips pressed harder to mine, Edward working harder to control the monster within. And because of this monster, and the fact that Edward doesn't quite trust himself the kisses eventually stop. I'm left aching with the need to be touched. I can see in Edward's blackened eyes that he aches just as much.

'_Cause I can't wait any more_

_Don't even talk about the consequence_

'_Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me_

_And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think._

Edward doesn't understand that I would give anything to be with him. _Anything_. I want to spend eternity with him. It is ultimately my decision but Edward refuses to take my life. What he doesn't understand is, if I can't be with him forever, then there is no life. I'm not truly living. He's not really taking away anything.

'_Cause you're the only one who's on my mind_

_I'll never ever let you leave me_

_I'll try to stop time forever_

_Never wanna hear you say goodbye_

So many times have we almost given into the passion, the heat of the moment, only to have Edward throw himself off of me and leave me until he can handle himself. If the circumstances weren't what they were, if my boyfriend didn't survive off of blood, I would feel so much more unwanted. I know here, that's not the case. Edward wants me, too much for our own good. And I want so badly to say to him "Damn my safety! I want you! I want _every_ part of you!" Having just this small amount is like having nothing at all. I'm left feeling like we've never truly gotten to appreciate the sensations of our closeness, like we've never touched before.

_I feel so untouched_

_And I want you so much_

_That I just can't resist you_

_It's not enough to say that I miss you_

There's this burning need inside me that terrifies me. I can feel it run all the way down to the deepest part of me. I'm truly frightened, if he doesn't give me what I need soon I may never get to experience it ever.

_I feel so untouched right now_

_Need you so much somehow_

_I can't forget you_

_I've gone crazy from the moment I met you_

Edward's lips upon my own tease me, his fingers every so lightly skimming my neck. I catch his fingers resting there a moment longer than the rest of my body, admiring the sensation of my pulsing blood running beneath, elevated by my arousal, by the life and passion he awakes within me.

_Untouched,_

_And I need you so much_

I've sat wrapped in his arms for hours on end. Inhaling his intoxicating scent hoping it will be enough until I finally find a way to make him give in . I've tried everything short of lying naked on my bed, offering myself to him like a piece of meet. An image flashes in my mind and I grimace. Am I asking him to be with me or to drink my blood? Truthfully, I would take either if it meant I had Edward.

_See you, breathe you, I want to be you_

_You can take time_

_To live the way you gotta live your life_

_Give me all of you_

_Don't be scared_

I can't even remember how many fights we've had regarding me becoming a vampire. I can tell how badly he wants to be with me and I've tried again and again to explain to him that me being like him would make that so much easier. But that point never wins the fight and in actuality makes him even more reluctant to finally try and be with me. I want to scream at him. I want to take him in my small hands and shake him. _I'm not as fragile as you think! I won't break! You love me!_ I want to take him in my arms and whisper softly in his ear_ I trust you Edward_. _ Be with me_. Every time I think I'm getting somewhere with that stubborn vampire, and every time he ends up begging me stop; to just wait a little longer. How can I say no to the man I love?

_I'll see you through the loneliness of one more_

_Don't even think about what's right or wrong, wrong or right_

'_Cause in the end it's only you and me and no one else is gonna be around_

_to answer all the question left behind_

_and you and I are meant to be so even if the world falls down today_

_you've still got me to hold you up_

_and I will never let you down_

Truthfully, a small part of me finds this quite romantic. I know Edward is only trying to protect me, that he would do _anything _to ensure my safety. Even if that meant not giving in to what we both want. He's my hero, my knight in shining armor, and every other sappy over-done figure of speech you could apply. But this is a cycle we're perpetually stuck in and I want it so desperately to end. I'm sick of having my desires ignored and pushed away. It's exhausting.

_I feel so untouched_

_And I want you so much_

_That I just can't resist you_

_It's not enough to say that I miss you_

I'm slowly being driven mad by Edward's actions, or lack thereof. I need him. I want him to hold me in his arms, I want to look up at his perfect face caressing it softly with my hand. _I need you._

_I feel so untouched right now_

_Need you so much somehow_

_I can't forget you_

_I've gone crazy from the moment I met you_

Edward, I _need _you.

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**My first fic in the Twilight genre. I heard these lyrics a few weeks ago and ever since could not listen to them without thinking about how much they really describe Edward and Bella's relationship (in the first part). **

**So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review. I've updated two of my stories already and haven't received ONE review, it's quite discouraging. Just let me know what you think!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**lmbrtvll**


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